This is a pretty accurate reading (on an online website, no doubt) even tho there are some generic comments here and there. You can find it here. Up, Up and Away

I'm going to ignore the irony there.

I've never been in an official relationship. I used to envy couples, even when I said that they were probably not going to last. Don't worry, I've had my share of puppy love and serious six-feet-under crushes. I guess this post will be most of the inexperience talking.

I enjoy my independence. You're pretty much able to do what you want, without any obligation. Sure, there's family and friends, but you don't have that one particular person that you really really really want to be there with. If you tell your friends that you need alone time, they'd understand. Your family might even want you out of the house for a little while, because you keep bumming around or making a mess. You get to do your thing, do the things you enjoy, and you don't have to take anyone else into consideration.

Then again, you need company for some things. For one, I hate watching movies alone in the theatre. I like to talk during the movie, to clarify some detail or ask about the storyline. I guess the same could be said for amusement park rides or taking lessons on a new skill. Company keeps you in the loop, a safety net. One-on-one company tho, is slightly different.

When you're out with your partner, it doesn't matter where you go. Your center of attention is totally fixed on your partner. You're hyper-aware of their presence, inexplicably drawn towards them. What you do together, though, matters a lot, because it builds that common ground that the both of you stand upon. It's that common ground that unites the two of you, and therefore time and effort goes into each date, each outing you spend together, to build that commonality. Foundation stones are important in anything you do in your life. Cover your bases before you aim for higher ground.

I digress tho.

I hate being officially single because I'm never going to enjoy the warmth of another's hands in my hand knowing that it's directed to me. I'm never going to receive a kiss that lets me know that I'm treasured, not one that tells me that I'm sexually desired. I'm never going to be able to experience falling so hard that it hurt, and hurting so much that I fall.

It should be a milestone in life. I think I'm only moving in inches.

(~```~)

Happy Birthday Singapore!
Couldn't resist slipping that in. ^^ Up, Up and Away

Borrowed this book from a dear sister of mine to read on the flight home. It has been inspiring, and very heartwarming to read about God being here, everywhere with you/me/his children. Some quotes really caught my eye, and I'll list them here.

A soulmate who protects you, who seeks nothing but your interests, wants nothing but your happiness. An ally who lets you be you. You feel safe with that person. No need to weigh thoughts or measure words.

True. How many people can we really speak our hearts to? Our family; but we worry that we will say words that will suffer their wrath and sour the relationship. Our chosen family of friends; but how do we really know that they are friends of a lifetime? We are afraid because these wordly relationships may not withstand tests of faith. But our relationship with God has. He gave his only Son, Jesus, to die for us. Jesus was sinless, yet he died for our sins. No matter what we tell God, God always forgives us.

You'll never know that Jesus is all you need until Jesus is all you have.

"The Lord does not see as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." These words were written for the haqqatons of society, for misfits and outcasts. God uses them all. He examines hearts.


Only God assesses accurate judgements.


You can hate what someone did without letting the hatred consume you.

Personal law that I follow. 

Forgiveness is choosing to see your offender with different eyes.


issumagijoujoungnainermik: not being able to think about it anymore

Tatt idea.

To forgive is to move on, not to think of the offense anymore.


The strength of a gentle heart.

Tatt idea. 

Jesus fights when you cannot.

His love is stronger than us.


Reunion is a splinter of an eternal moment away.

So poetic~

When you love the unloving, you get a glimpse of what God does for you.


1 Chron 16:12 - Remember His marvelous works which He has done.

My favourite:
If you don't succeed at home, do you succeed at all?

Jesus, my Saviour and Giant-killer, I trust you with my heart and give you my life. I ask for mercy, strength and eternal life. Amen. Up, Up and Away

Korea was awesome. It's just different from Singapore, good and bad. The food was delish, filling but not overbearing. The weather was still cold, windy, but it didn't rain until the last day when we were leaving on the night flight. The trip was leisurely, plenty of time to absorb just being in a foreign land. Even tho we were impaired by the language barrier, we made up for it with action. We visited quite a few places; myeungdong, DDM, Everland, CGG palace, Sinchon. Sinchon was epic, coz I got separated from the group and ended up shopping alone. We were in Ewha station, in one of the shops, and I came out after my purchase and I didn't see anyone around. I thot they had gone on to the other shops in the station, but after an hour of at least 2 rounds through the shops, I finally realised that they had left. I did think of staying there, but getting all the way there and wasting my time waiting for them was such an unappealing thought. So I decided to go out and try to find them along the way.

The funny thing was, when I left the station, they came back for me.
So while I was lost, they were shopping. While I was shopping/looking out for them, they were searching for the lost kid.

Oh, I almost forgot the fact that I didn't bring my phone. So no whatsapp, no roaming, no contact.

Anyway I finished my shopping and went back to the hostel, still alone, and then I could whatsapp one of them to say that I was safely back. ST was like 'OMG THANK GOD YOU'RE SAFE.' :')

Yeah, and I spent a lot of moolah. ><


 I don't feel peaceful at all nowadays. There's too much turmoil in my head, in my heart. Seeing my grandad in the home was sad. I don't want him to live in that kind of environment: unfeeling. Seeing my family constantly unhappy with one another. I don't want a house of strangers. Seeing me put myself out there, afraid of the outcome yet unwilling to be a passive participant. I don't want to be alone.

Yet amongst everything, we are almost always on our own. Up, Up and Away

You Are Deeply Thoughtful

You believe that there's an interesting story behind everything and everyone. And you're fascinated by these stories. You think a lot about the past. You believe that history has a lot to teach us. You are original and expressive. You can make poetry out of anything. You are a spiritual soul who sees into the future. You are also good at interpreting dreams.

You Should Stay Away from Red

You are a balanced and calm person. You definitely shy away from aggression and anger. You are a natural peacemaker, and you feel bad when people can't get along. You wish everyone was kinder to one another. Red sometimes represents defiance and strain. You are too harmonious to want to be near either of those. Red also can point to too much passion or intensity. If you want to remain peaceful, stay away from this color.

You Are Loving

You love deeply, and your friends and family especially know this. You are a natural caretaker. You are generous with your time and actions. You are extremely considerate and thoughtful. You like to take your time and do things right. You get very absorbed in your interests. A passionate person like you would be happiest visiting Spain, Portugal, or France.

Your Mind is Purple

Of all the mind types, yours is the most idealistic. You tend to think wild, amazing thoughts. Your dreams and fantasies are intense. Your thoughts are creative, inventive, and without boundaries. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking of fictional people and places - or a very different life for yourself.

The Left Side of Your Brain is Dominant

You are a verbally and mathematically adept person. You notice details, and you are very precise. You are analytical and linear. You are able to not get overwhelmed and do things one step at a time. You follow through on the plans you make. You like to have everything neat and finished before moving on. You are a perfectionist in almost every aspect of your life. Errors and mistakes drive you crazy.

You Take Yourself Seriously

You see yourself as a thoughtful and introspective person. You are very intelligent. You think other people see you as kind, gentle, and cooperative. You try to be helpful. You want to see yourself as ingenious and clever. You'd like to be a quicker thinker. You identify as a compassionate and accepting person. You pride yourself on being forgiving.

You See Love As Sweet

You are a ton of fun, and you love to bond with others. You make instant friends with people. Whenever you are single, you are very ready to love. You have an open heart. You are an easy person to be with and an easy person to love. You are a joy to be around. If you have good food, good company, and good weather, then there's not much more you can ask for.

You Are Sentimental

You hold your friends and family close to your heart. You treasure every memory you have. You take care of what you value most - whether it's an object or a person. Of all the types, you are the most likely to pass down a family heirloom. Whether you're a woman or a man, you are probably very in touch with your feminine side.

You Are Observant in Life

You are serious and stable. You are a bit of a perfectionist, and you like structure. You are happiest when you are inspired and creative. You like to live in the moment. You are sensitive and considerate. You are always putting other people's needs before your own. You have found what you want in life and are quite content. You know a lot about yourself.

You See the World Through Blue Colored Glasses

You live your life with tranquility. You have faith that things will work themselves out with time. You judge all your interactions through the lens of hope. You try to get all the facts before forming your opinion. You face challenges with wisdom. You know that all bad things pass, and you have the confidence to see problems through. You see love as the utmost expression of trust. Your relationships tend to be peaceful and stable. At your worst, you can be cool, melancholy, and detached. You sometimes have to step back from emotionally charged situations. You are at your happiest when you are able to reflect and relax.

You Are Having an Awesome Day

You feel grounded and stable in your life. There is not a lot of change going on. You are a flexible person. You tend to take life as it comes. You are prioritizing your individuality right now. You have your own stuff to work on. Deep down you crave freedom. You feel at peace when you are able to do what you want.

Your Eyes Should Be Brown

Your eyes reflect: Depth and wisdom People find you to be: Loyal, honest, and comforting Your best trait: You are comfortable with who you are, and you don't pretend to be someone you're not What's hidden behind your eyes: A tender heart

Your Birthday is Silver

You are the shy type. You get so lost in your own thoughts that you sometimes forget to interact with other people. You are clever and bright. You find learning and thinking to be very easy. What you find difficult is relationships. You have never been able to understand people. You find both friendships and love to be difficult. It's hard for you to communicate your needs, hopes, and fears effectively.

You Are an Individual

You are a master of logic and reasoning. Emotions don't color your decisions. You thrive on action and always want to be moving forward. A lot of your action is internal. You have some loner tendencies - and you're totally okay with that. You like to do your own thing. You've always felt a little different from everyone else. You are a true individual.

You Are Balanced

You are an expansive and open-minded person. You want to experience the world without judgment. You are energetic to the point of being athletic and sporty. You like to move! You have a good sense of humor. You are easily amused, and others find you to be quite amusing. You are optimistic and always expect the best. You put misfortune in perspective.

Your Iris Says You're Very Spiritual

You are incredibly hopeful and courageous. Even when you've been challenged in life, you have faith that everything will work out. Your feelings run deep, and you are a very grateful person. You are very effected by the world around you. You are thankful for the life you lead.

You Are Always Changing

It's people like you who serve as the catalysts to major cultural changes. You're just a bit behind the scenes, so no one really notices. The details in your life can be a bit disorderly. You don't mind a little chaos. Some may consider you a hermit, but you just really enjoy your own company. You are creative and crafty. You love to work with your hands.

You Are Likely a First Born

At your darkest moments, you feel guilty. At work and school, you do best when you're researching. When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often. In friendship, you are considerate and compromising. Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking. You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.

You Are Philosophical

You feel connected, trusting, and content. You feel at peace with your place in the world. You are autonomous and fulfilled. You know how to make yourself happy. You cherish all of the little things life offers you. You are easily fascinated, and you enjoy new experiences. You have an incredible amount of inner strength. Use it, and you can achieve almost anything.

Your Home is Lively

Whether you live by yourself or with many other people, your home is always buzzing with activity. You are likely to have water boiling for tea or a fire burning in the fireplace. You live in every area of your home, and you really savor your time there. You could never feel at home in an empty or quiet house. A home should be enjoyed to the fullest.

You Are a Lynx

You are a quiet observer of the world around you. Your wisdom comes from listening carefully. You've always been extra sensitive and aware. And it's made it difficult for you to fit in. You see past people's outward personas. You are able to penetrate a stranger's soul. What you've learned about people is both beautiful and ugly. And you keep these secrets to yourself.

You Show Energy

You are an active and impulsive person. You can't stand to be stagnant. You are restless and a bit of a wanderer. You never quite feel settled. You are always on the go. It feels good to keep moving and exploring. You are creative and mentally sharp. Your mind is flexible and embraces change.

You Are Elegant

You are creative and good with your hands. You are naturally an artist. You pride yourself on having excellent taste in music, movies, and food. You are detailed oriented - even the smallest things don't escape your eye. Good at facts and figures, you excel at logical and mathematical tasks.

You Crave Excitement

You are vivacious, colorful, and bold. There is nothing subtle about your personality. You are naturally extroverted. You love to talk, and you are a good storyteller. You are attracted to drama. You love dramatic people, and you tend stir up a bit of trouble yourself. You are very expressive and opinionated. You react to everything... in fact, some people may accuse you of overreacting!

You Are Romantic

While you are a bit on the quiet side, you're a great partner. You are supportive, devoted, and loyal. You're very kind, gentle, and empathetic. You can't help but feel whatever others are feeling. More than any other type, you honestly still believe in true love. You hold on to your ideals. You are flexible. You find it easy to adapt to any situation.

You Are Emotional

You are a highly sensitive person. You feel everything deeply - both the good and the bad. You have a strong nurturing instinct. You take good care of those around you and of yourself. You make allowances indulgences and comforts. Life is too hard not to be easy on yourself! You are very protective of those you love. You're often lending a hand before someone even thinks to ask for it.

You Live in the Present

You take things one day at a time. And it turns out, that's a pretty great way to live. You aren't consumed by the past, and you're aren't obsessed with the future. You live in the now, and you enjoy each moment. While most people don't live in the present enough, make sure you don't live in it too much. It would be a mistake to forget your past or neglect to plan for the future.

You Are Easy on Yourself

You are a well rounded person who can see both small details and the whole picture. You are very balanced. You act quickly but not impulsively. You think through your actions, even if only briefly. You are a dreamer, but you often make sure to act on your dreams. You don't just like to imagine! You are content and harmonious. You've made your peace with the world.

You Are a Studious Student

You are wise and thoughtful. You are very philosophical about life. When something is important enough, you will tell people about it. You like to mull things over for a while. You are original in both your thoughts and actions. You think the status quo is boring. You are good at working hard without expecting praise. Others often don't know about your accomplishments.

You Are Imaginative and Idealistic

You are popular and well liked. You know how to please a crowd and work a room. You tend to go to your friends for advice and opinions. You value what your friends have to say. You have an optimistic take on life. Things are always a lot better than they seem at first. Spending time alone makes you contemplative and thoughtful. You can get really deep when there's no one else around.

You Are Hyperactive

You have a ton of energy! The trick is trying to figure out where to direct all your excitement. You see possibilities everywhere you look. It's easy for you to be inspired. Your creativity really knows no bounds. You're always up to something amazing and interesting. You have an active mind and spirit. You can't sit still, and why should you?

You Are a Traditionalist

You aren't impressed by anything that's too modern. You go for whatever is classic. Some may call you a bit old school, but you know that old school eventually becomes new school! You are naturally sweet and fun. It's hard for you to get too down. You have a colorful take on life. People who know you appreciate your vibrancy.

Your Body's Element is Water
You are a joyful, relaxed, and luminous person. You love people. You live for making new friends and helping others. You are enthusiastic and the ideal person to work with. You don't mind doing hard tasks, and you have a generous spirit. Your energy tends to be: conserved You power color is: black

You Are a Mystic

You are an island. You don't need anyone else to make you happy. And though you see yourself as a loner, people are drawn to you. Deep and sensitive, you tend to impress others with your insights. You also tend to be psychic - so listen to that inner voice! Your strength: Your self sufficiency Your weakness: You despise authority Your power color: Maroon Your power symbol: Hammer Your power month: July

Your Dark Element is Earth

You are well grounded. You nurture and comfort everyone that you know. You are naturally diplomatic, but it isn't easy. You can be indecisive and contradictory at times. You work hard, but you also get discouraged. You can be withdrawn and moody. You tend to give so much to others that you forget to take care of yourself.

Your Power Element is Metal

Your power colors: white, gold, and silver Your energy: contracting Your season: fall You are persistent (and maybe even a little bit stubborn). If you see something you want, you go for it. You have a lot of strength, and it's difficult to get you down. Very logical, you tend to analyze everything going on in your life.

You Should Get an Abstract Tattoo

Artistic and unique You're the most likely type to personally design your tattoo

You Should Get a Tattoo on Your Neck

You're the type of person who lives a very alternative and interesting lifestyle. You can get tattooed (and pierced) to your heart's content. It's not like you're planning on working at Starbucks! You are daring and decisive. You may seem to act impulsively, but there is a method to your madness. You think body art is beautiful. You couldn't imagine not having your own unique tattoo.

Up, Up and Away

Who am I?

That's my new year resolution, actually. To find myself, and find my place in this world. Where I stand in this grand scheme of things. What part do I play in the lives of others. What part to I play in my life. Grand-daughter, daughter, sister, sista, best friend, good friend, friend, acquaintance, colleague, stranger - what do each of these roles of mine entail?

So far, I only know that I am clay, fit to fill the shoes of each role. I am a bundle of emotions that are inextricably tied to one another, to thoughts that might or might not matter. I dance to the beat of my heart, I have ignored my brain unless needed. I am imbalanced, unbalanced, torn in ways that have been my own doing. Sometimes I don't even know what I'm doing, then I kick myself for shooting myself in the foot.

I think it's fairly safe, at this point in time, to say that I am simply lost.

(~```~)

What the fuck.
Honestly.
You never learn your lesson, do you.
Let's see how you're going to get out of this alive. Up, Up and Away

In this past month (October):
- How my procrastination always bites me in the ass
- How I need to relearn how to treasure the people around me
- How to move - coordination, performance, technique, awareness - dance
- How much one person can affect another

(~```~)

I hate how I'm so hyper-aware of you. Up, Up and Away