I'm going to ignore the irony there.

I've never been in an official relationship. I used to envy couples, even when I said that they were probably not going to last. Don't worry, I've had my share of puppy love and serious six-feet-under crushes. I guess this post will be most of the inexperience talking.

I enjoy my independence. You're pretty much able to do what you want, without any obligation. Sure, there's family and friends, but you don't have that one particular person that you really really really want to be there with. If you tell your friends that you need alone time, they'd understand. Your family might even want you out of the house for a little while, because you keep bumming around or making a mess. You get to do your thing, do the things you enjoy, and you don't have to take anyone else into consideration.

Then again, you need company for some things. For one, I hate watching movies alone in the theatre. I like to talk during the movie, to clarify some detail or ask about the storyline. I guess the same could be said for amusement park rides or taking lessons on a new skill. Company keeps you in the loop, a safety net. One-on-one company tho, is slightly different.

When you're out with your partner, it doesn't matter where you go. Your center of attention is totally fixed on your partner. You're hyper-aware of their presence, inexplicably drawn towards them. What you do together, though, matters a lot, because it builds that common ground that the both of you stand upon. It's that common ground that unites the two of you, and therefore time and effort goes into each date, each outing you spend together, to build that commonality. Foundation stones are important in anything you do in your life. Cover your bases before you aim for higher ground.

I digress tho.

I hate being officially single because I'm never going to enjoy the warmth of another's hands in my hand knowing that it's directed to me. I'm never going to receive a kiss that lets me know that I'm treasured, not one that tells me that I'm sexually desired. I'm never going to be able to experience falling so hard that it hurt, and hurting so much that I fall.

It should be a milestone in life. I think I'm only moving in inches.

(~```~)

Happy Birthday Singapore!
Couldn't resist slipping that in. ^^ Up, Up and Away